As I have tried to recall where "My Big Mouth" started, thoughts come to mind when I was in grade school. Around grade 5 or 6. I was trying to buy a Coke from a small store next to our school and this is the story.
I was out alone and at that time I was pretty puny... say 4' 11" kinda thin but remember I had a big mouth. I ordered a 12 ounce Coke and as a custom in our "polluted" country the sales lady (Is that what you call her? Lets call her Miss...)tried to put a straw into my coke bottle. But being the environmentalist that I am even at that age I refused and said in a loud and convincing voice: "Wag mong lagyan ng straw...Para sa mga bading lang yan" (Dont put a straw, straws are only for faggots.)So she didn't and as I nonchalantly turned around there was this huge burly guy who I can tell was in college (Was not wearing any uniform and had facial hair)drinking his coke from a straw. He evidently heard me (who wouldn't) and was looking at me menacingly. OMG!!! I froze right there waiting for his move... And you know what he did? (As thoughts of fight or flight raced through my mind. I couldn't imagine winning a fist fight with him. He seemed to be 6 feet tall. So I made up my mind to just take off the minute he stands up.) Man, eternity seemed to pass by. I can remember that day as if it was yesterday. And then he made his move...
He stopped sipping his coke and exaggeratedly (if there is such a word) took off his straw and drank straight from the bottle. He did not even say a word. What??? Phew...Got saved, I mean God saved me that time. I sat down at the farthest corner of the store (and believe me the store was small)and tried to enjoy my drink, which I couldn't at this point. I couldn't even breathe a sigh of relief. But deep down inside I was vindicated. I had won. Victory!!! Drinking cokes straight from the bottle was done by real men. Real men dont use straw and this was at a time that environmentalism wasn't even heard of. (Of course this blog is not about the environment) REAL MEN drank. I mean who drinks beer with straw?? Only f_ggs. (Opps edit that out.) Again REAL MEN drink straight from the bottle. Real men like me... and my big mouth.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
My Big Mouth Vol 1
I have always gotten myself in trouble by opening my Big Mouth. From grade school, high school and up to college. I have goten into fights big and small. Some upper classmen have taught me lessons in taming the tongue. Well I thought I had matured and had finally tamed my fiery tongue after graduating and becoming a professional. But... I was very wrong!!!
Recently I was in College of St Benilde listening to a concierto by renowned Spanish guitarist Oscar Herrero, billed as the best flamenco guitar player. It was produced by the leading Spanish cultural organization in the Philippines, Instituto Cervantes. So it was attended by a lot international digitaries some from foreign embassies, as when we were going through the parking lot you can see the plate numbers in blue with four numerical values only and all starting in 1.
So the Oscar started and finished his first set. (This blog is not about his performance, which I think was OK...just OK.) We were seated next to a non-ethnic looking guy (read: Non Filipino looking), who blended in with the mostly Spanish crowd. During the intermission a friend of mine Rean walked over from the other isle and saluted much like what the German army does when an officer arrives. But his salute was so 1945 that I blurted out: Heil Hitler! Well guess what??? The guy next to me peered and studied me carefully. At the back of my mind I said: "Uh oh..." But the conversation continued with Rean with a lot of small talk on the environment and global warming. Anyway... everybody went away to do who knows what (bathroom break?) and I was left with this dude, very well dressed and sharply too...and turned to face me... all very controlled and subtle....taradadan!!!! (Drum roll please...)
He introduced himself very quickly, I think his name was Rick (Im not sure and I'm pretty bad at names, more on that later) and asked me why I said: Heil Hitler. (You know in the back of my head, I really did not think it would cause offence... But then again I did not think.) I said something to the effect of (and not in any particular order): 1) I did not mean what I said 2) I'm sorry 3) I watch too much History Channel 3) I'm sorry 4) I was just reminded of the guesture from my friend 5) I'm sorry 6) We are not nazi loving people 7) Is it hot in here??? Just a classic case of foot and mouth disease... Oh sorry thats foot-in-Mouth disease.
He said no problem and said he has been around Southeast Asia and he noticed that we use this term loosely (not verbatim). I started probing being the sales person that I am... How did you know about the concert? He said I saw it in an ad. Oh, thought you were connected with the Spanish guys. He said no. He said he was actually Austrian (The plot thickens...) To which I said: There you go...(kick, kick, kick, punch<insert sound effect>... I now had two feet-in-my-mouth). And then I continued to illustrate that we are not Aryan Brothers, not a third reich lover, not fond of gestapos... As I continued to dig my own grave, I said yet again for the second time once more, twice, part 2: I'm sorry... Followed with: Is it hot in here???
The second part of the concert was OK, just OK as I tried to process what just happened. Well lessons learned: 1) Dont take those two words lightly 2) Understand your surroundings, know your audience 3) location, location, location and last but definitely not least 4) Keep your big mouth shut!
Recently I was in College of St Benilde listening to a concierto by renowned Spanish guitarist Oscar Herrero, billed as the best flamenco guitar player. It was produced by the leading Spanish cultural organization in the Philippines, Instituto Cervantes. So it was attended by a lot international digitaries some from foreign embassies, as when we were going through the parking lot you can see the plate numbers in blue with four numerical values only and all starting in 1.
So the Oscar started and finished his first set. (This blog is not about his performance, which I think was OK...just OK.) We were seated next to a non-ethnic looking guy (read: Non Filipino looking), who blended in with the mostly Spanish crowd. During the intermission a friend of mine Rean walked over from the other isle and saluted much like what the German army does when an officer arrives. But his salute was so 1945 that I blurted out: Heil Hitler! Well guess what??? The guy next to me peered and studied me carefully. At the back of my mind I said: "Uh oh..." But the conversation continued with Rean with a lot of small talk on the environment and global warming. Anyway... everybody went away to do who knows what (bathroom break?) and I was left with this dude, very well dressed and sharply too...and turned to face me... all very controlled and subtle....taradadan!!!! (Drum roll please...)
He introduced himself very quickly, I think his name was Rick (Im not sure and I'm pretty bad at names, more on that later) and asked me why I said: Heil Hitler. (You know in the back of my head, I really did not think it would cause offence... But then again I did not think.) I said something to the effect of (and not in any particular order): 1) I did not mean what I said 2) I'm sorry 3) I watch too much History Channel 3) I'm sorry 4) I was just reminded of the guesture from my friend 5) I'm sorry 6) We are not nazi loving people 7) Is it hot in here??? Just a classic case of foot and mouth disease... Oh sorry thats foot-in-Mouth disease.
He said no problem and said he has been around Southeast Asia and he noticed that we use this term loosely (not verbatim). I started probing being the sales person that I am... How did you know about the concert? He said I saw it in an ad. Oh, thought you were connected with the Spanish guys. He said no. He said he was actually Austrian (The plot thickens...) To which I said: There you go...(kick, kick, kick, punch<insert sound effect>... I now had two feet-in-my-mouth). And then I continued to illustrate that we are not Aryan Brothers, not a third reich lover, not fond of gestapos... As I continued to dig my own grave, I said yet again for the second time once more, twice, part 2: I'm sorry... Followed with: Is it hot in here???
The second part of the concert was OK, just OK as I tried to process what just happened. Well lessons learned: 1) Dont take those two words lightly 2) Understand your surroundings, know your audience 3) location, location, location and last but definitely not least 4) Keep your big mouth shut!
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